There was this summer, somewhere between heartache and finding myself, that I spent lying in the grass, reading Harper Lee and everything J.D. Salinger has ever written - Franny & Zooey twice. Years before that, I spent the summer months playing baseball with my brothers, singing "Wild Thing" and trying to look just as cool as Charlie Sheen. Even earlier, my cousin Sophie and I, who always had trouble communicating, would bond over numerous games of woosh, run through the sprinklers or build camps in the rhododendrons. A few lucky times, my aunt Annette even treated us to an al fresco dinner of burgers and fries. 

Summer in my parents' garden was always quite glorious. I've always loved going back in summer to dig my toes into the grass and feel that wide expanse of green around me. Still, I don't think I fully understood what made it so glorious until I found a garden of my own.

During the past five weeks, I've watched peonies go from small bud to bursting flower to droopy remains in the matter of days. I've witnessed the grapevine take over our entire garden shed and seen figs grow, trees blossom and a little robin - we call her Rosie - build a nest. For about a week, every time I walked into the kitchen, my eye was caught by this single bright red rose in a sea of green, and just the other day, drawn by the continuous chirping of birds, we found two baby blackbirds hiding in the hydrangeas. Not a day has gone by that I haven't stepped into that garden and every single time, even on the hardest of days, it has given me an opportunity to catch my breath and find my senses.

It's not just that summer feeling; not even all that green. It's that every single day, something changes. Something grows, something new appears, something blooms. In a little while, inevitably, some things will die. But the fact that we get to be part of that ... I don't know, it makes me feel calm and connected again. Maybe this is how a summer that started in heartache years ago ended up being one that gave me a sense of self-confidence that I didn't have before? Maybe, despite my conviction that I'm a city girl and a control freak, I need this connection to nature, to wilderness, to the uncontrolled?

notes

• If you don't have reusable popsicle molds, these yogurt pops can just as easily be made in small glasses or sturdy plastic cups.
• The compote recipe makes more than enough for 4 regular popsicle molds. Use leftovers to top off your morning yogurt bowl, oatmeal or ice cream sundaes, or make some extra popsicles.
• If you have difficulty removing the yogurt pops from their molds, just wrap your hands around the popsicle for 10 to 30 seconds so as to warm up the sides and try again.

raspberry rhubarb yogurt pops w/ almond crunch

raspberry rhubarb compote adapted from Yossy Arefi's Sweeter Off The Vine

makes 4 12o ml (4 oz) popsicles

for the raspberry rhubarb compote

160 g rhubarb, cut into 1 cm pieces
1 cm piece of fresh ginger, grated
80 g granulated sugar
1 tbsp lemon juice
75 g raspberries (fresh of frozen)

for the almond crunch

30 g sliced almonds, coarsely chopped
30 g vanilla sugar (or regular granulated sugar)
1 + 1/2 tsp egg white

for the popsicles

300 g Greek yogurt
1 vanilla bean

how to

for the raspberry rhubarb compote

1. In a medium, non-reactive saucepan or bowl, combine rhubarb, ginger, sugar and lemon juice. Cover with plastic wrap and allow to macerate, at room temperature, for about 2 hours, until rhubarb is soft but not mushy.

2. Add raspberries and cook everything over medium high heat, stirring occassionally, until you have a thick, jammy compote, 10 to 15 minutes. Allow to cool to room temperature.

for the almond crunch

1. Preheat oven to 180˚C. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. In a medium bowl, combine sliced almonds and vanilla sugar. Add egg white, little by little, until everything just starts to clump together.

3. Spread mixture out onto baking sheet and bake for 10 to 15 minutes, until golden and crunchy. Let cool a little, then use your hands to break everything apart. Allow to cool completely.

for the popsicles

1. Split the vanilla bean lengthwise, scrape out the seeds and stir them into the Greek yoghurt.

2. To fill the popsicles molds, start with a spoon of raspberry rhubarb compote and use a small spoon or wooden skewer to swirl it around the sides of the mold. Add a spoon of yogurt, followed by another spoon of compote. Top everything off with more yogurt and a sprinkle of almond crunch. Repeat for all the popsicle molds, then put a stick in each and freeze for at least three hours, preferably overnight.