Sometimes I forget how rewarding it all can be. Standing in a cold and gloomy kitchen, trying to figure out what to do with the bags of produce we've received from our farmers, wondering how to prep some unknown vegetable, struggling with sticky dough or trying to make a dent in the piles of dirty dishes ... it can seem like too much. Too big of a challenge. Too high a hurdle.

For a long time now - much longer than I care to admit - this is how I've felt about cooking dinner. While sweet treats and dessert have gotten all my attention, dinner has so often been an afterthought, something I left to Thomas. Until he broke his foot and I could no longer pawn dinner duties off on him ...

I'm sure I've spent more time in the kitchen during these past two weeks than I did during the months of August and September combined. I've tackled 40 overripe bananas, stuffing our freezer with banana bread, banana pancakes and banana energy bars, used the largest Chinese cabbage in human history to make my very first batch of kimchi, made a delicious pesto from a bunch of rocket that looked too sad to use as such, pickled radishes, tested radicchio recipes and poached an egg for the first time in my life ... little things, but each one a small victory, reminding me of the many reasons why I love to cook:

The accomplishment of putting a thoughtful, home-cooked meal on the table. The challenge of recreating a beautiful dish I spotted somewhere. The adventure of trying something new. The joy of getting to know new flavors, ingredients and techniques. The reward of figuring out what works (and what doesn't). The satisfaction of producing a nourishing and tasty dish out of something that would otherwise be thrown away. The pride of putting in the effort to become a better, healthier person in a more sustainable world.

Every night that I've spent in the kitchen lately has strengthened my relationship with food and reinforced the values I've been trying to live by. Every dish that I've produced has made me feel more grounded, in my body as well as my daily life. And every moment that I've spent researching recipes and ingredients has had me craving more. Just like that, after so many months, I find myself slipping back into my old routines of meal planning and meal prepping - I find myself slipping back into a version of me that I never knew I missed.

These crumbles are part of this shift, born from the desire to learn about a fruit I was only slightly familiar with on the one hand and the insistence on using every last apple from our farmers' first harvest on the other. They are generously spiced with star anise and cloves, sweetened with dark brown sugar and baked up crispy on top and jammy in the middle. They are simple, but satisfying, as all food should be.

notes

• You can easily prepare the poached quince in advance. Store them in their syrup, in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.
• This recipe also works for 1 large crumble, although you'll need to adjust the baking time accordingly.
• An extra sprinkle of chopped nuts in the crumble - I'm thinking walnuts - wouldn't hurt a bit, if you're that way inclined.

spiced apple & quince crumbles

makes 6 individual crumbles

for the poached quince

900 ml water
300 g granulated sugar
juice of 1/2 lemon
2 star anise
2 cloves
750 g quince (about 2 large ones)

for the apples

500 g apples (about 4 small ones), peeled, cored and cut into 1 cm pieces
20 g unsalted butter
30 g dark brown sugar

for the crumble

60 g all-purpose flour
100 g dark brown sugar
40 g rolled oats
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp salt
30 g unsalted butter, cubed & cold

how to

for the poached quince

1. In a large saucepan, combine water, sugar, lemon juice, star anise and cloves. Heat over medium heat.

2. While the poaching liquid heats, prep the quince. Peel, quarter and core the fruit, immediately transferring the pieces to the poaching liquid to prevent oxidation. If necessary, top off the liquid with water so as to cover the quince completely and cover with a parchment lid.

3. Simmer the quince for 40-60 minutes, until pink and tender. Let cool in the syrup until ready to use. (You can refrigerate them for up to a week.)

for the apples

1. In a large frying pan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the apple pieces and sprinkle over the sugar. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the apple pieces have softened.

for the crumble

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, oats and spices.

2. Using your fingers, work the butter into the flour mixture until you have a course crumble.

to assemble

1. Preheat oven to 200˚C. Butter 6 individual ramekins (or one large baking dish).

2. Cut poached quince into 1 cm pieces. Toss them with the apple pieces and divide the fruit mixture over the 6 ramekins. Top each ramekin with the crumble, completely covering the fruit.

3. Bake for 20-30 minutes, until the crumble is golden and toasted and the fruit is bubbling throughout. (Extend the baking time if you’re making one large crumble.)

4. Eat warm with a scoop of ice cream or a dollop of cream, or simply at room temperature.