fruit
Sometimes I forget how rewarding it all can be. Standing in a cold and gloomy kitchen, trying to figure out what to do with the bags of produce we've received from our farmers, wondering how to prep some unknown vegetable, struggling with sticky dough or trying to make a dent in the piles of dirty dishes ... it can seem like too much. Too big of a challenge. Too high a hurdle.
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My knees trembled as I walked them to the door. I hadn't slept in days, had hardly eaten and had probably not spoken a word during the entire time that they were there. My heart was weeping, but my eyes had no more tears to spare. I felt numb. Drained. Angry. [...]
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I wake up in darkness. The cold September air enters through cracks and open windows, emptying the house of the smells and worries of the night before. I wrap myself in a blanket and cling to my coffee cup just a little more than usual, trying to absorb its warmth by way of touch, smell and taste. The windows are black; reflective canvases impossible to penetrate. There really is no sense in staring outside, but I do it anyway.
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I don’t know if it was the three weeks we spent in a country where people live with relatively little means, options are always limited and contact with the outside world is scarce, or the shock of coming back home and immediately being bombarded with information, images, opinions and, perhaps most of all, choices, but it suddenly feels like my life is just a little too crowded.
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The start of summer is a special kind of time. No matter what the weather is like, when the month of June comes to a close, a certain atmosphere starts to permeate our minds, our bodies, our houses, our streets, our cities. Everyone is elated. Everything seems possible.
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"Diane, if you ever get up this way, that cherry pie is worth a stop."
These past couple of weeks, Thomas and I have been watching old episodes of Twin Peaks. There is something so soothing about re-watching TV shows. It makes me feel safe. Warm, even. I may have trouble watching the same movie twice, but I certainly don't mind sitting through entire series of a variety of TV shows again and again.
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